broken | mental note 28 february 2020

it's suffocating me,

i barely breathing and i can feel my heart hurts

i want to talk something but i dont know what im supposed to say
i keep sighing and sighing, like im disappointed, to myself, to my life.

my eyes full of clouds, clouds of sorrow, it'a covering, giving birth to shadows, a dark existence in my heart.

i feel like im going to burst and explode, but i dont... so i keep sighing and sighing.

just trying to breathe, staying sane and alive.

i hate you, it's as if i wanna say those words, but it seems lacking, cuz hate it's not even the correct emotion of what im feeling right now.

and i know, it's not like i own you and you owe me something, that's why somehow i think that is wrong, me... hating you.

but i just can't help myself, i just cant control what im feeling right now, the thorn in my heart, that makes me keep sighing and sighing, asking to feel more air, to keep me sane and alive.