Insecurity

It came

help

help me

i know i can see it, i know it can see me.
i know it wanna eat me ALIVE.

yea, ALIVE.

it's one of its its signature move. eating me alive, and wacthing me groan in desparity while it feels joy seeing me sink and sink below...

it's haunting me first, it letting me know "hey! im here! im here cuz i know you can't get it of me!"

"go away!" i said

it laughed, laughed so hard that its gooey black stuff coming out from it nowhere to be seen mouth
"are you trying to get rid of me? like you tried for the hundreds time before?"

"but it's different now! he is different!" as i tried to squeal but to no avail.

"you are just fooling yourself, anyone but never me." it grinned, i can now see its big mouth, shining with its white teeth, getting closer as he wanna devour me.

"he's not into you"
"we barely knew each other!"
"he's never called or text you first, silly!"
"wrong! he text me first two or three times"
"two or three times is a fluke!"
"he's busy!!" i retorted
"isn't this your exact excuse with the last man you're with?"
"but this one is different! he genuinely wanna talk to me, about things... everything!"
"awww poor little bee, so he's your friend?"
"but..."
"just accept it. surrender to me, you know the drill..."
"of course it's gonna hurt as i start eating and devouring you...

but you survived, like every other time..."

"but please... can you make it painless?"

"you know me better than anyone, i don't like to lie, and... bon appetite"

it hurts

so fucking hurts

i scream, please help me

please let this hurt go away

i scream, please make it stop

im starting losing my mind

i scream, why do i deserved this?

am i not good enough?
am i not thoughtful enough?
am i not desirable enough?
am i not deserved enough to be with you?

i scream, and now everything is black.